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Cratered

by Palliate

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1.
it's late july and the last of your prescriptions you saved me met with self esteem last night i remember way too much or too little maybe just the right things ed's roof, new brunswick streets and basements never questioning the things i was taught could never retrace those thoughts i think you know when it got bad for me i lost my mind on the north jersey coast line i didn't have a chance before we pulled into penn and i wish you were there to take in the show i'm mostly scared that it wasn't the end and 33rd st just ain't the same for me anymore i can see the stars again as the north river tunnel spits my tired train car out i had the time of my life on houston montreal did the same to me st. catherine and the pharmacy never questioning why you came with you'd never turn down a hit i know you saw when it got bad for me i've done nothing in the past 6 years i've lost all my ability what do you see in me i left my head in asbury park with another cigarette in the dark
2.
i can picture franklin corner empty bottles hit the asphalt shards flying through suburban air we were making up for lost time always reaching out for fast times so i'd remind myself if most content when all alone feet on the street and far from home sure life's no destination but i think you were wrong as context fades away and friendship wears thin i don't recognize the place we lived nick thinks a break is best but i've been on for too long train ride through 5 states I string myself along I found an Evan Williams smile and nowhere else to be except benzodiazepine IV in Washington DC do I want to be alone I won't admit that I miss home yeah life's no destination still think you were wrong we got high in my garage and up and down route 1 in the end it's safe to say you won
3.
let me set the scene. 7pm i can't keep my eyes open 10 cartons. i'm on the deck, 3 packs in toronto's finest keeping my stomach's contents in i slept the week away in a claustrophobic room baltimore came quick and the sad songs sooner the slow ones took no growing into but i'd quickly grow out of this skin it's unnerving when we went on key west at the very end of route 1. alprazolam and more drinks than i could stand that cheap jacket still fits but i don't think i do into your life because i'm still getting used to nicotine infused and oxymorphone confused living dreams i slept the week away in a claustrophobic room the atlantic came quick but i couldn't leave sooner the ocean took no getting used to neither did the cratered skin the creek at home would be so fucking proud to see where the saltwater dried out self esteem when i walked out of Transit on new year's eve i knew atlantis had taken the best of me
4.
Boston 2012 02:45
i had a system, so you see for those rides miosis, tonic, rocks, and gin and i left you sleeping in. i should have died so many times and i'm drinking again wide eyed outside of your building cigarettes and the dark creeping in i can barely recall the Royale, jumping in to Living Saints they never came. none of my friends are goddamn saints and when the cops asked me what i was doing there i guess i had an answer at the time what did you drop? and where is home? yeah i was stoned but im thinking again now the answers don't come so quick neither does the green line from what you told me stumble out through chinatown. glazed eyes, foil and brown and i'm drinking again i had a system, you saw, for those nights dehydration and diazepam. my brightest plans smoke alone, walk with pride i wonder where tom is. he said fuck the fens i can see the commons from here but it's still not as high as i'd like tom said i sounded even better unfortunately i don't think he lied and when the cops asked me what i was doing there i guess i had an answer at the time what did you drop? and where is home? i can't get stoned but i'm thinking again now my answers don't come so quick neither does the green line from what you told me stumble out through chinatown. man i've been up and down give me one more to forget i dont mean to suggest that it was you i loved the best i dont mean to suggest that there was one i loved the best maybe we should all just put boston to rest for the love of god give me one more to forget
5.
Trenton 2011 02:43
crowded high school halls and i am hungry for distraction sickness yellow walls and my heroes weren't yet human too early in the morning for houses of sand and fog so decorate the landscape with ashes and future flaws i heard it in a song back then a contradicting heart and head you're hiding something you don't recognize yet and loveless echoes our names while this place in my brain dries up then freezes over it's fucking cold in here though the drinks wont let me know it everyday i'm further out of my head. is it showing?  you can sing the same songs for a decade on end but it falls on us to make them mean anything and the seas will conspire to drain you but the creek was dry and i am too where were you

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janky lil jams recorded in a janky lil halfway house

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released December 28, 2015

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Palliate Pompano Beach, Florida

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