Cratered

by Palliate

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02:45
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02:43

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janky lil jams recorded in a janky lil halfway house

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released December 28, 2015

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Palliate Fort Lauderdale, Florida

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Track Name: New York 2015
it's late july and the last of your prescriptions you saved me
met with self esteem last night

i remember way too much or too little
maybe just the right things
ed's roof, new brunswick streets and basements
never questioning the things i was taught
could never retrace those thoughts
i think you know when it got bad for me

i lost my mind on the north jersey coast line
i didn't have a chance before we pulled into penn
and i wish you were there to take in the show
i'm mostly scared that it wasn't the end
and 33rd st just ain't the same for me anymore

i can see the stars again as the north river tunnel
spits my tired train car out
i had the time of my life on houston
montreal did the same to me
st. catherine and the pharmacy
never questioning why you came with
you'd never turn down a hit
i know you saw when it got bad for me

i've done nothing in the past 6 years
i've lost all my ability
what do you see in me

i left my head in asbury park
with another cigarette in the dark
Track Name: Wilmington 2014
i can picture franklin corner
empty bottles hit the asphalt
shards flying through suburban air
we were making up for lost time
always reaching out for fast times
so i'd remind myself

if most content when all alone
feet on the street and far from home
sure life's no destination
but i think you were wrong
as context fades away
and friendship wears thin
i don't recognize the place we lived

nick thinks a break is best but
i've been on for too long
train ride through 5 states
I string myself along
I found an Evan Williams smile
and nowhere else to be except
benzodiazepine IV
in Washington DC

do I want to be alone
I won't admit that I miss home
yeah life's no destination
still think you were wrong
we got high in my garage
and up and down route 1
in the end it's safe to say you won
Track Name: Baltimore 2013
let me set the scene. 7pm
i can't keep my eyes open
10 cartons. i'm on the deck, 3 packs in
toronto's finest keeping my stomach's contents in

i slept the week away in a claustrophobic room
baltimore came quick and the sad songs sooner
the slow ones took no growing into
but i'd quickly grow out of this skin

it's unnerving when we went
on key west at the very end
of route 1. alprazolam
and more drinks than i could stand
that cheap jacket still fits but
i don't think i do
into your life because i'm still getting used to
nicotine infused and oxymorphone confused
living dreams

i slept the week away in a claustrophobic room
the atlantic came quick but i couldn't leave sooner
the ocean took no getting used to
neither did the cratered skin

the creek at home would be so fucking proud to see
where the saltwater dried out self esteem
when i walked out of Transit on new year's eve
i knew atlantis had taken the best of me
Track Name: Boston 2012
i had a system, so you see for those rides
miosis, tonic, rocks, and gin
and i left you sleeping in. i should have died so many times
and i'm drinking again
wide eyed outside of your building
cigarettes and the dark creeping in
i can barely recall the Royale, jumping in to Living Saints
they never came. none of my friends are goddamn saints

and when the cops asked me what i was doing there
i guess i had an answer at the time
what did you drop? and where is home? yeah i was stoned
but im thinking again
now the answers don't come so quick
neither does the green line from what you told me
stumble out through chinatown. glazed eyes, foil and brown
and i'm drinking again

i had a system, you saw, for those nights
dehydration and diazepam. my brightest plans
smoke alone, walk with pride
i wonder where tom is. he said fuck the fens
i can see the commons from here
but it's still not as high as i'd like
tom said i sounded even better
unfortunately i don't think he lied

and when the cops asked me what i was doing there
i guess i had an answer at the time
what did you drop? and where is home? i can't get stoned
but i'm thinking again
now my answers don't come so quick
neither does the green line from what you told me
stumble out through chinatown. man i've been up and down
give me one more to forget

i dont mean to suggest that it was you i loved the best
i dont mean to suggest that there was one i loved the best
maybe we should all just put boston to rest
for the love of god give me one more to forget
Track Name: Trenton 2011
crowded high school halls and i am
hungry for distraction
sickness yellow walls and my
heroes weren't yet human

too early in the morning for houses of sand and fog
so decorate
the landscape
with ashes and future flaws

i heard it in a song back then
a contradicting heart and head
you're hiding something
you don't recognize yet

and loveless echoes our names
while this place in my brain
dries up then freezes over

it's fucking cold in here
though the drinks wont let me know it
everyday i'm further out
of my head. is it showing? 

you can sing the same songs
for a decade on end
but it falls on us
to make them mean anything

and the seas will conspire
to drain you but the
creek was dry
and i am too
where were you